The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*** by Mark Manson

  • The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*** by Mark Manson

  • Monica

    Moderator
    April 14, 2020 at 6:24 am
    8380

    Hi guys! Welcome to the discussion of this masterpiece of a book! Who has read it? Let’s discuss.

    If you haven’t read it or don’t have the time to read the whole book this week, here is a very brief and yet, informative synopsis by the author himself, Mark Manson. It will only take 12 minutes to read and you can listen to it as well πŸ™‚

    Also, trigger alert!! This book/article has a lot of swearing involved, that’s the writer’s specific style. If it doesn’t suit it and you don’t like it, no need to read it, next week we have something a little more polite prepared πŸ™‚

    Here is the link: https://markmanson.net/not-giving-a-fuck

  • Monica

    Moderator
    April 14, 2020 at 6:41 am
    8380

    OPEN DISCUSSION

    1- How often do you get lost in 100 tiny problems throughout your day that just add up into a snowball and ruin it?

    2- How could this approach change something in your life at this moment?

    3- Can we really “select” the things that annoy or hurt us? Do we choose to victimise ourselves?

    4- How hard is it to realise that we have been the ones holding ourselves back all this time?

    **BONUS QUESTION** Any theories on why Mark swears so much? πŸ˜€

    • Cassandra.carpenter

      Member
      June 29, 2020 at 3:10 pm
      450

      Bonus question: My hypothesis on why he swears so much, is to keep the readers attention and to seem more like “one of the boys” instead of someone trying to teach you something.

    • Vijaya

      Member
      August 29, 2020 at 12:16 am
      1110
      1. Hi Monica, recently I came across this book. someone recommended to my husband and that’s how I come across this book. I was little skeptical because of the title of book as I do not tolerate any kind of swearing. I feel Mark has used the word most of the time to express his anguish and the way we ruin our perfect moment into trashy one. But some of the content I feel he has exaggerated and twisted the events as per his convenience. Especially, the story of Gautama Buddha. It shows his little knowledge of that topic. In many cases, he had just discussed the scenario without any solution to it.
  • Callen Williams

    Member
    April 15, 2020 at 12:32 am
    275

    Love this book!

    The writing style of the author is what inspired my writing style.

    I think that if you focus and commit to change, you can change the way that you react to negativity. I think it take a lot of thought, but you can eventually choose what to “give a F***k” about.

    I think he uses a lot of swear words because he is pandering to an audience. He wants the audience to feel like he is just like them.

    Another author who has a similar style is Gary John Bishop. His books are spectacular as well.

  • Callen Williams

    Member
    April 15, 2020 at 12:34 am
    275

    Also,

    Mark Manson was the inspiration for my post “The F*** You Approach”.

    Check it out and tell me what you think.

    yourpalcal.net

  • Marie Palmeri

    Member
    April 16, 2020 at 7:43 pm
    410

    At first glance, I was hesitant to read the article because of the usage of the ‘F’ word. But then I thought, if someone like you, Monica is recommending it, then it must be worth reading. So I did and I got very interested right away!

    The author is very good at making his point across just by using the ‘F’ word. Now I see why he had to use it. He is using it to get his audience to feel the way he feels and to strongly educate us about caring and not caring. And I agree with him when he said that we need to carefully determine who we give our fucks to. Giving a fuck about every little thing and everything will destroy us and consume us.

  • Lisa Lysen

    Member
    April 16, 2020 at 8:58 pm
    495

    Mark Manson makes a really great point. There’s a time to react and there’s a time to let things go. Some things just don’t really matter enough to let them rob you of your happiness. I used to be THE best at letting 100 tiny problems spiral out of control. It took a long time for me to realize I could actually do it, but when I decided to stop giving so much energy to things things that weren’t worth it, I discovered there’s a lot of goodness out there. And when you focus on that instead, you start to see more of it. It’s also very important to react when a reaction IS needed, though. Kindness isn’t weakness and should never be mistaken for it. If a situation is wrong and needs to be changed it’s very important to react.

    As for my answer to the Bonus Question … He might be directing his book at a specific target audience or maybe he just talks like that.

  • Kiara Smith

    Member
    April 17, 2020 at 4:45 am
    455

    I absolutely love this book and it put a lot of things in perspective for me. It definitely showed me how being concerned with what others may think or feel could limit me when following my passions in life. It also made me realize how if I want extraordinary, I have to stop trying to fit in with ordinary. I use to think that when people said “F” it, it was something negative, but now I realize how it’s actually a form of self care.

  • Clarissa Cabbage

    Member
    April 19, 2020 at 6:02 am
    605

    First of all, thanks Monica for sending us this resource! I haven’t read the book, but I did read the 12 min article.

    I do sometimes have a tendency to give a f*ck over small things. Sometimes I find myself ruminating or stressing or getting angry over things I know I should just let go. It’s something I’ve been working on lately.

    This not giving a f*ck approach reminds me of the mindset I’ve been trying to develop recently, where the goal is to not stress over or fixate on things that I cannot control. That way I can devote my energy to things I DO have control over.


    I actually wrote a blog about this the other day. The perfect example is with Covid-19. I can’t control: people’s disregard for science, the things the president says, whether my neighbors are breaking the stay-at-home orders etc. But I can make sure I limit my negative news exposure, I can wash my hands and follow social distancing rules, I can choose to unfollow people that try to stir the pot etc.


    So essentially I guess I’m choosing not to give a f*ck about what I can’t control, so I can give my f*cks to what I can control.

    It’s a very liberating way to think. When I can get it right, I spend less time worrying about stuff that doesn’t matter, and so I feel happier or at least less stressed. But for me, it’s still a work in progress.

    Also, I think maybe Mr. Manson is a want-to-be pirate like Steve the Pirate from Dodgeball.

    • Cassandra.carpenter

      Member
      June 29, 2020 at 3:08 pm
      450

      I am right there with you Clarissa, I tend to fret over little unimportant things or get as my son says “spastic” when I get on a role with a task or solving a problem. Sometimes you just have to step back and breathe. What’s the motto for parents: “Sometimes you have to pick your battles”, this applies to so many aspects of life.

      We both will just have to be more self aware, and stop, take a breath, and decide if it is a battle that is worth our time, stress, or emotional health. Good luck, and know that you are not alone in this journey.

  • Cassandra.carpenter

    Member
    June 29, 2020 at 2:58 pm
    450

    I absolutely loved this book! I have a hard time reading “self-help” books because they all seem to say the same thing. This one had me laughing and even saying out loud, “Oh, now I get it”, or “You are exactly right”.

    He really changed my thinking and the way I look at things. Another author Gary Bishop, that Callen mentioned, is also quite enlightening and entertaining.

  • Vijaya

    Member
    August 29, 2020 at 12:17 am
    1110


    vijaya.pereira

    Member

    August 29, 2020 at 12:16 am

    1. Hi Monica, recently I came across this book. someone recommended to my husband and that’s how I come across this book. I was little skeptical because of the title of book as I do not tolerate any kind of swearing. I feel Mark has used the word most of the time to express his anguish and the way we ruin our perfect moment into trashy one. But some of the content I feel he has exaggerated and twisted the events as per his convenience. Especially, the story of Gautama Buddha. It shows his little knowledge of that topic. In many cases, he had just discussed the scenario without any solution to it.

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